Memorial Day Weekend

You guys...

We found a park!!!

Having a curious, friendly toddler running around and a baby fresh out of surgery makes it hard to find a park where I feel comfortable. Bret loves to run around and discover! If there are too many people, he will usually people watch and follow the older kids. Or, if the park is not gated, he will escape into the parking lot. YIKES! Then having Mia in her car seat, in the stroller makes it hard to follow him around.
BUT...
This park is AMAZING! He can run around freely! There's hardly any people there. I LOVE it!

I took a kite, blankets and some snacks. We ran around and flew our kite. Bret was mesmerized by it. It's amazing how kids can turn something ordinary, into a magical moment. He would follow me around and try and run after me to catch the kite. Sometimes, when the wind wasn't blowing a whole lot, he would catch a piece of the tail and squeal in delight.

There was also sand in the playground and Bret was entertained for a good hour. He poured sand all over himself, fascinated by the texture and how it looked on him. I didn't mind one bit! His face was bright red at the end and he had THE BIGGEST smile on his face.

All in all, I think we can count our Saturday outing as a complete success. When we got home Bret had some dinner, Heath bathed him and Bret went to bed without complaining. He didn't even cry when we didn't give him a bottle to put him down. Win. Win. Win!

That night we were able to enjoy some fun grown-up time with Cari and Morgan. Morgan and Heath watched a basketball game, while Cari and I talked and Mia laughed FOR THE FIRST TIME! It was adorable. 

Sunday was super fun too. Our friends, the Garcias, came over for dinner and our kids played. Sadly, we didn't get any pictures. There were 4 kids that needed attention and parents that wanted to chat, so, no time for pictures! But I am SO grateful for good friendships. 

Finally, actual memorial day.

WE WENT SWIMMING!!

Don't worry, Mia didn't swim. In Heath's own words when someone asked him if she got in, "Yea right! That's an infection waiting to happen!" True dat!

BUT, I did have her wear her swim suit just so she could feel like she was part of the fun. Oh okaaay, in reality I know she could care less. I just thought she looked SO CUTE in her swim suit! 

Bret on the other hand, went swimming for the first time EVER in his life! 

I first took him to the splash pad because I thought he would enjoy running through the water. Well, he hated it. He cried and glued himself to my leg every time kids would run around spraying each other. Truth is, it was a bit windy and the wind was a bit chilly. I don't blame him, it was not hot enough for the splash pad. 

After this first traumatic experience, we went to the pool. We sat in the shore of the kiddie pool for a good 5 minutes until he felt comfortable. Then, I scootched further in, and he started crying, so we sat there for another 5 minutes until he felt more comfortable. Finally, I put him in his floating device and I took him further in. and guess what?! He didn't smile the entire time I had him. So I went to get Heath, who was with Mia. 

Bret, had a BLAST!

Heath took him around in his floating device and would play peek a boo with him! He got Bret so comfortable with the water that at the end he was blowing bubbles in the water! Bret laughed, squealed in delight, and even kicked his legs so he could move around! 

Bret loves his daddy so much! We LOVE it when he can come with us and play. 

"MOm! Fix my towel, seriously?!"

 Memorial day weekend final points,

Mom: 10
Dad: 10

Then, after Bret was in bed and Mia had been cathed, Heath and I enjoyed some s'mores that we roasted over our grill in our porch. It was ALL Heath's idea.

Husband points: +10 (Winner!)

Aaaand then he had us watch the basketball game...

Husband points: -5

(Just kidding! It was still fun!)

Hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend and that everyone got a chance to think about and thank those that have served this country!

Mia is 3 months

Mia is 3 months and life is good!

She has had quite the month. First with a trip to the E.R because of some swelling behind her ear and neck where  the shunt runs through. After a revision from the surgeon, he said that she needed surgery. So we showed up and were all ready for surgery. The neurosurgeon came in and he decided to give her another week to see if the swelling would go down on its own. I may or may not have been kind of annoyed at him. I knew there was something wrong, but he wanted Mia to show more serious symptoms of a shunt malfunction to actually perform surgery. These symptoms include, vomiting, extreme sleepiness, a bulging fontanel (soft spot), maybe a fever or seizures. The only things I noticed were different with Mia was that she was sleeping more than usual. Also, her fontanel wasn't bulging, but it wasn't soft either. It was hard.
We went back a week later and the swelling hadn't gone down. So, it was surgery time!

Mia's got this surgery thing DOWN! Turns out there was something wrong; the shunt was clogged. So they replaced it completely and now she has a brand new shunt. Yay!

 I have been thinking a lot about a scripture this past week,

"...men are that they might have joy." 2 Nephi 2:25

Here I am having a hard time seeing my baby girl go through surgery after surgery. These are serious surgeries that have to do with her spine and her brain! And yet here is Mia, smiling away after waking up from sedation and eating, with brand new stitches on her head and her belly.

I now see that the wording on that scripture is might have instead of will feel. To have something means we can "posses, own, or hold". Might is a possibility. In other words, we have the possibility to posses joy! Which leads me to this scripture:

"For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made." Alma 34:9

Sometimes life can be really tough! We may feel like we can't do it anymore, or like it's unfair. All of these things can make our hearts harden a little at a time. Without the atonement, trials and unfairness in this world would make our hearts hard as rocks! Making us angry, sad, hopeless and all those negative feelings. Always! That's why the atonement is SO important or as the scripture says, expedient!
God made it possible for us to overcome our sorrows and the unfairness of this life. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can have the possibility of feeling joy! That doesn't mean we will be happy go lucky all the time. But it does mean that there's hope. Because even during the most trying times, we can feel happy and experience joy in this life.

Mia is a great example to me of being happy amidst hard times. Her and Bret bring me so much joy!

So yes, after everything, life IS good.

Happy 3 months baby girl. You are our little fighter and we love you dearly.


ESPAÑOL

Ella ha pasado por mucho este mes. Primero con un viaje a la E.R debido a una hinchazón detrás de la oreja y el cuello, donde la derivación atraviesa. Después de una revisión por parte del cirujano, dijo que necesitaba cirugía. Llego el dia y estábamos todos listos para la cirugía. El neurocirujano entró y decidió darle otra semana para ver si la inflamación se reduciría por sí sola. Puede que si o puede que no estaba un poco molesta con él. Yo sabía que había algo malo, pero él quería que Mia mostrara los síntomas más graves de un problema de la derivación para llevar a cabo la cirugía. Estos síntomas incluyen, vómitos, dormir mucho, una fontanela abultada (parte blanda), tal vez una fiebre o convulsiones. Las únicas cosas que noté eran diferentes con Mia fue que ella estaba durmiendo más de lo normal. Además, su fontanela no estaba abultada, pero no era suave tampoco. Estaba dura.Volvimos una semana más tarde y la hinchazón no había bajado. Por lo tanto, era el momento de la cirugía!

Mia es una experta en cirugias! Resulta que SI había algo mal; la derivación estaba tapada. Así que lo reemplazaron por completo y ahora tiene una nueva derivación. ¡Yey!

Esta semana he estado pensando mucho acerca de una escritura,

"... existen los hombres para que tengan gozo." 2 Nefi 2:25

Aquí estoy yo teniendo un tiempo difícil al ver a mi niña pasar por la cirugía tras cirugía. Estas son cirugías intensas que tienen que ver con su columna vertebral y el cerebro! Y sin embargo, aquí esta Mia, sonriendo después de despertar de la sedación y ser alimentada, con nuevos puntos de sutura en la cabeza y el vientre.

Ahora veo que la fraseología en que la escritura es poder TENER gozo en lugar de SENTIR gozo. Tener algo significa "poseer". En otras palabras, tenemos la posibilidad de poseer gozo! Lo que me lleva a esta escritura:

"Porque es necesario que se realice una expiación; pues según el gran plan del Dios Eterno, debe efectuarse una expiación, o de lo contrario, todo el género humano inevitablemente debe perecer; sí, todos se han endurecido; sí, todos han caído y están perdidos, y, de no ser por la expiación que es necesario que se haga, deben perecer.". Alma 34: 9

A veces la vida puede ser muy dura! Podemos sentir que ya no podemos hacerlo más, o que la vida es super injusta. Todas estas cosas pueden hacer que nuestros corazones se endurezcan un poco a la vez. Sin la expiación, los desafios y la injusticia en este mundo harían nuestros corazones duros como piedras! Haciéndonos sentir enojados, tristes, sin esperanza y todos esos sentimientos negativos. ¡Siempre! Es por eso que la expiación es TAN importante o como dice la escritura, necesaria!

Dios hizo posible que superemos nuestros desafios y la injusticia de esta vida. A través de la expiación de Jesucristo podemos tener la posibilidad de sentir la alegría y tener gozo! Eso no significa que estaremos super felices todo el tiempo. Pero sí significa que podemos tener la esperanza de que aun en los tiempos dificiles podemos sentirnos feliz y tener gozo.

Mia es un gran ejemplo para mí de ser feliz aun durante los tiempos difíciles. Ella y Bret me traen gozo.

Y sí, después de todo, la vida es buena.
Feliz 3 meses mi nena hermosa. Eres nuestra pequeña guerrera y te queremos mucho.

JUST. KEEP. SWIMMING

*The alarm goes off

It's 5:00 am on a weekday. I don't want to get up. I don't want to leave the comfort of my warm bed. 

I'm 15 years old and my ride is here. Groggily I put on my pants over my swimsuit, a coat, and I head out the door to meet my friends out in the car. 

Less than five minutes later we get to the pool. 

It's 5:15 am and it's time for practice. Gotta take off the towel and stretch. The coach is talking now telling us what our warm up is going to be. 

Okay. I have to jump in now. But I don't want to. I know the water will be cold. I'm still sleepy, I'm still warm. I don't want to jump in and be cold! 

I close my eyes. *SPLASH*

Eeek! It's cold! "It's okay", I tell myself "just keep swimming". The more I swim, the better I feel. I do a flip turn. One more lap and I can feel it's getting easier. Easier to breathe, easier to stretch my body, easier to move faster. Suddenly, I loose myself in the water. I feel like I'm gliding and honestly being woken up at 5 in the morning is not so bad now. 
My body tells me, "this is good for me! Keep going!" 

It's the end of the work out. My body worked hard. I'm wide awake now and I love how my body feels as I cool down. I feel stronger. 
I feel ready to conquer the day. 

----

It's 1:00 am now on a rainy Monday. More than 10 years have passed since my swim team days. My motherly worries now keep me awake.
I see my baby girl snuggled warm in her pack and play. I know that in about 30 hours, she must go in for surgery.

But she's only a baby! Babies shouldn't have to get surgeries. Surgeries are for when you're older and you've used your body more. Not for when your body is brand new!

As the clock keeps ticking, I can feel it approaching.

-I don't want to jump in! I don't want to be cold!-

I look at her peaceful frame asleep in her bed and can feel her say, "It's okay mom. We can do this! We have done it twice before, we can do it again!" 

"This is good for my body."

I tell myself to keep going. Eventually, it will get easier to breathe. As time goes by my brain will stretch with knowledge and understanding. My heart, though it aches at times, will continue to grow with love and patience. I will be able to learn faster and loose myself in the care of my daughter so she can have THE BEST chance at a good quality of life. Then, spina bifida won't feel so bad anymore.
Just. Keep. Swimming.


---
In my head it's post-op and my baby is in her hospital crib. I know she's sedated and still asleep. In an attempt to comfort her as she starts to wake up, I put my finger in her little hand. She moves a little and gives me a sleepy smile,

"See mom? It all worked out. I feel stronger now. I am now ready to conquer life"

*Sigh*

I love my baby girl. We can do this! We WILL kick spina bifida's butt!