Mia is 4 months!

Yesterday was Mia's 4 month mark. 

We went to her 4 month check up and she is 15 lbs and 23 inches long. She is cooing a lot and she is as smiley as they come! 

At the appointment we talked about her muscle tone. Her muscles are kind of weak just about everywhere. Her left side is stronger than her right. The doctor told me that she was going to take longer than most kids to do everything like, roll over, crawl, and walk. I'm not going to lie, it made me sad. Again, I was reminded of the lasting effects of the Spina Bifida. We will continue helping her as much as we can, but nerve damage is nerve damage and there's nothing I can do about that.

That smile though...

Mia loves taking baths in the bathroom sink. She especially likes her hair being washed and brushed. She gets really excited when she sees me, her dad or Bret walk in after she's taken a nap.
Her left arm is really strong and she actually reaches out to play with her toys and grabs a hold of them for a few seconds! She always brings up her right hand to her mouth and sucks on her fist. We're working on getting her right arm past her mouth and up over her head a bit.

Mia loves story time at night when we read a fun book and the kids version of the Book of Mormon. I put both kids on our bed and then I lay right in between them and read to them. Mia really likes it and squeals in delight when I read and when her brother jumps around on the bed.

Talking about Bret, yesterday they both got shots. Bret got his first. He has really intense eyes and he never took his eyes off of the nurse. She cleaned his leg with the alcohol pads, and then took out the syringes. Bret stared at her through the whole process, not smiling or moving one inch. When she inserted the first syringe, he took a deep breath and his brows furrowed in anger, then, she stuck the second syringe in... this one was the tetanus one... there was fire in his eyes as he looked at the nurse and he started crying. I picked him up to comfort him, then I told him that it was Mia's turn. She gave Mia both of her shots and of course Mia started crying right away. The nurse handed her to me and I was holding Bret and Mia. Bret stopped crying when he heard his sister cry, and when the nurse handed her to me, Bret put his arm around Mia and gave her a kiss. The look he gave the nurse was hilarious, it was like, "you hurt my sister again and I'll cut you!" Both the nurse and I thought Bret had been so sweet to his sister after she got her shots, completely forgetting his own pain, he  comforted his sister.

Happy 4 months baby girl. You have a good brother. And you are such an easy baby. Serioiusly! Thank you for sleeping through the night, even if you do wake up at 6 or 5:30 am, I'll take that over 4:00 or 3:00 am.

Bret is 16 months!

Bret is now 16 months! Some of you might say, why do you still count it by months? Why don't you just say, "he's one!"

Well, I will tell you! Bret is VERY different from his 12 month old self! 

Even from 14 months to now he's changed! For example, the picture above was taken in May. Both my babies were drinking from bottles. Soon after this picture was taken, I decided to introduce sippy cups for nap time and then for bed time. 

One day I realized that the nipple on Bret's bottle was kind of yellowish. I smelled the bottle and it was a very strong unpleasant smell. I washed his bottle every day! But this was the only bottle he had left from the set we bought when he was about 3 months or maybe it was from the set we bought at like 6 months. Bret had a very bad habit of putting his bottles in places we couldn't see. So, when we would find them, they would have moldy milk in them and it was gross. We HAD to throw them away. There was no saving those bottles. THIS bottle was the only one that survived. But it was time for it to retire. Unable to get rid of the pungent smell, I tossed that bottle out as well and Bret had no choice but to use his sippy cup for comfort. Some days he would cry for a long time because he wanted his bottle, and I ALMOST gave in and bought him a new one however, I remained strong and stuck with the sippy cup. 

Now, at 16 months Bret has graduated from his sippy to his teddy bear! He loves, "Oso Moreno". And I love not having to change extremely wet diapers in the morning. ;) 

Bret is very smart and will point at his nose (nariz), mouth(boca), and eyes(ojos) when I ask him. If I ask him to find his shoes (zapatos) or ball (pelota), he will go get them for me.

He loves the outdoors and the aquarium! I'm so glad our friend Corinne invited us! 

He is down to one nap a day and still goes to bed between 7:30- 8:00 pm.

He is a REALLY good big brother. He loves his sister so much he ends up hugging her too tight or giving her headbutts instead of kisses (that makes me REALLY nervous). When we get ready to go outside, after I put his sister in her car seat, he tries to help me by taking the car seat. He can't lift it of course, but he grunts and tries to lift it. He also rubs my back and gives me a kiss when I am buckling his sister in. 

He is still not saying any words, except for "agua" but he CAN drink water from a normal cup and user a fork. He's a joy to be around most of the time and the rest of the time, he gives me gray hairs. 

Love my little fire ball.

Father's Day

I wanted to make father's day WAY special, with breakfast in bed, handmade presents from the kids and Heath's favorite dish. It went a little bit different than I expected...

First off, Heath had to work ALL day Friday, and Saturday, so I couldn't do the family activity I had planned. Saturday night though, we were able to go to the movies while his parents watched the kids. Since we're old married people now, midnight was WAY past our bedtime. Heath made it to the couch when we got home and was out in a matter of seconds. Mia decided that she wanted to eat at 5:15 in the morning, but I wasn't ready to get up! So, I put her in bed with me and she fell asleep again. At 6:30 Heath came to bed with us and Mia started with her ambulance cry, so he went and made her a bottle and started feeding her. She finished it, while we fed it to her half asleep and next thing I know, it's 8:30 am and church starts at 9:00 am. I had to play the piano in sacrament meeting, play for the kid's special number during sacrament, play the piano for first hour of primary aaaand play the piano in relief society. Heath got ready. While I got ready, he cathed Mia, changed Bret and made him breakfast. I made Mia her bottle and Heath got both diaper bags ready for church. I ended up not playing for sacrament meeting, but in all the other meetings I played.

Happy Father's Day!

Bret got a cold this week again and he would wake up crying in the middle of the night. Heath stopped studying to comfort our baby boy and read him a story or two before putting him back to bed. 

This guy right here, is one of the best fathers I know. He works SO hard! He goes to school full time and works more than full time. Sometimes, he comes home and the kids have been asleep for a few hours and he wakes up before the kids wake up and starts his day all over again.

During one of our E.R runs last month before we were told Mia needed surgery. 

However, he is there to hold me, help me, and listen to me when motherhood becomes too hard. He is there to wipe the tears off of our adventurous toddler. He is there for E.R days and hospital stays. He is there when he needs to teach his primary class and take care of Bret at the same time. He is there when his family needs him or a friend needs a helping hand.

Teaching Bret how to work hard during his lunch break. 

And even though I miss him when he's not around, (and I wish he could spend all day every day with us), I am grateful he takes his role as our provider seriously. We always have what we need and it wouldn't be possible without his hard work.

Bret learns from his daddy how to be gentle with Mia. 

So I gave him a personalized cup for father's day. With pictures of the kids, him, and I. He loved his cup and has drank milk from it, every time he gets a chance. Then, he spent the weekend performing his fatherly duties. God bless this man.

After a long day of work, Heath fills up his water jug so he can share it with this kid! 

I am so grateful to have him in my life.

*Also, he hates it when I say nice things about him on the internet. So, don't tell him I told you how amazing he is. But if you know him, you already know in which case, I don't need to tell you sooooo... yeah. 

Happy Father's day to all the wonderful men in our lives! Especially the father of my children.

Spina Bifida - A Blessing in Disguise

Getting an ultrasound of her kidneys

On Thursday Mia got her kidneys and bladder tests. Basically, because of her lesion, she has nerve damage in her bladder. So, they checked to see if her kidneys had any reflux from her bladder. First, the did an ultrasound of both her bladder and kidneys. Then, we went to a different room, where they put a catheter in her bladder, filled it up, and emptied it, then filled it up and emptied it again. Meanwhile, they took x-rays as they filled it and emptied it to make sure none of it was going up to her kidneys. Luckily, they found that she isn't having any reflux. She, however, doesn't empty completely, which means we still have to help her empty by cathing her twice a day.

Friday was Spina Bifida Clinic and we saw the team of doctors and specialists. Usually clinic is from 8am-1pm. This time it was only until 11am!! We were stoked!

Right after getting her blood drawn

At the end, she had to get her blood drawn to make sure her kidneys were really okay. We got word that all was good and we could go home. FINALLY! We don't have to go back for another 3 months!!
Which is GREAT because ever since we've been home from the NICU we've been back to Primary Children's or the pediatrician's office at least once a week.

 Bret likes dogs... from a distance. Irrelevant I realize, but he's just TOO cute!

As we were waiting to go in to clinic, I saw a lot of Spina Bifida kids come in, boys, girls, of different ages and different races. Some came in their wheelchairs, others in their walkers. Others had braces, or limps and some, you wouldn't even know they were born with SB. I was amazed at how healthy they all looked. How "normal' they all seemed. I noticed how no one looked at them with pity and how their parents enabled their independence. They talked, played and displayed curiosity just like any other child. I couldn't help but think how lucky we were to be able to interact and be part of this new circle of friends.

People with disability in the United States have a lot more opportunities and are more enabled than those I've seen in Mexico, for example. They are not shunned, or separated from society. However, if you don't have a person with disabilities in your family or close to you, they are still somewhat distant or part of another "world" that's unknown and at times, scary.

It's taken me some time to say it but, I am grateful for Spina Bifida. Because of it, we have the opportunity to interact face to face with people with disabilities. We are now in the same "world" and I cannot help but think how much Bret and Mia will benefit and grow from this experience as well.

Bret decided he likes splash pads after all

"What if trials of this life, are Your mercies in disguise" - Laura Story

Memorial Day Weekend

You guys...

We found a park!!!

Having a curious, friendly toddler running around and a baby fresh out of surgery makes it hard to find a park where I feel comfortable. Bret loves to run around and discover! If there are too many people, he will usually people watch and follow the older kids. Or, if the park is not gated, he will escape into the parking lot. YIKES! Then having Mia in her car seat, in the stroller makes it hard to follow him around.
BUT...
This park is AMAZING! He can run around freely! There's hardly any people there. I LOVE it!

I took a kite, blankets and some snacks. We ran around and flew our kite. Bret was mesmerized by it. It's amazing how kids can turn something ordinary, into a magical moment. He would follow me around and try and run after me to catch the kite. Sometimes, when the wind wasn't blowing a whole lot, he would catch a piece of the tail and squeal in delight.

There was also sand in the playground and Bret was entertained for a good hour. He poured sand all over himself, fascinated by the texture and how it looked on him. I didn't mind one bit! His face was bright red at the end and he had THE BIGGEST smile on his face.

All in all, I think we can count our Saturday outing as a complete success. When we got home Bret had some dinner, Heath bathed him and Bret went to bed without complaining. He didn't even cry when we didn't give him a bottle to put him down. Win. Win. Win!

That night we were able to enjoy some fun grown-up time with Cari and Morgan. Morgan and Heath watched a basketball game, while Cari and I talked and Mia laughed FOR THE FIRST TIME! It was adorable. 

Sunday was super fun too. Our friends, the Garcias, came over for dinner and our kids played. Sadly, we didn't get any pictures. There were 4 kids that needed attention and parents that wanted to chat, so, no time for pictures! But I am SO grateful for good friendships. 

Finally, actual memorial day.

WE WENT SWIMMING!!

Don't worry, Mia didn't swim. In Heath's own words when someone asked him if she got in, "Yea right! That's an infection waiting to happen!" True dat!

BUT, I did have her wear her swim suit just so she could feel like she was part of the fun. Oh okaaay, in reality I know she could care less. I just thought she looked SO CUTE in her swim suit! 

Bret on the other hand, went swimming for the first time EVER in his life! 

I first took him to the splash pad because I thought he would enjoy running through the water. Well, he hated it. He cried and glued himself to my leg every time kids would run around spraying each other. Truth is, it was a bit windy and the wind was a bit chilly. I don't blame him, it was not hot enough for the splash pad. 

After this first traumatic experience, we went to the pool. We sat in the shore of the kiddie pool for a good 5 minutes until he felt comfortable. Then, I scootched further in, and he started crying, so we sat there for another 5 minutes until he felt more comfortable. Finally, I put him in his floating device and I took him further in. and guess what?! He didn't smile the entire time I had him. So I went to get Heath, who was with Mia. 

Bret, had a BLAST!

Heath took him around in his floating device and would play peek a boo with him! He got Bret so comfortable with the water that at the end he was blowing bubbles in the water! Bret laughed, squealed in delight, and even kicked his legs so he could move around! 

Bret loves his daddy so much! We LOVE it when he can come with us and play. 

"MOm! Fix my towel, seriously?!"

 Memorial day weekend final points,

Mom: 10
Dad: 10

Then, after Bret was in bed and Mia had been cathed, Heath and I enjoyed some s'mores that we roasted over our grill in our porch. It was ALL Heath's idea.

Husband points: +10 (Winner!)

Aaaand then he had us watch the basketball game...

Husband points: -5

(Just kidding! It was still fun!)

Hope you enjoyed your Memorial Day weekend and that everyone got a chance to think about and thank those that have served this country!

Mia is 3 months

Mia is 3 months and life is good!

She has had quite the month. First with a trip to the E.R because of some swelling behind her ear and neck where  the shunt runs through. After a revision from the surgeon, he said that she needed surgery. So we showed up and were all ready for surgery. The neurosurgeon came in and he decided to give her another week to see if the swelling would go down on its own. I may or may not have been kind of annoyed at him. I knew there was something wrong, but he wanted Mia to show more serious symptoms of a shunt malfunction to actually perform surgery. These symptoms include, vomiting, extreme sleepiness, a bulging fontanel (soft spot), maybe a fever or seizures. The only things I noticed were different with Mia was that she was sleeping more than usual. Also, her fontanel wasn't bulging, but it wasn't soft either. It was hard.
We went back a week later and the swelling hadn't gone down. So, it was surgery time!

Mia's got this surgery thing DOWN! Turns out there was something wrong; the shunt was clogged. So they replaced it completely and now she has a brand new shunt. Yay!

 I have been thinking a lot about a scripture this past week,

"...men are that they might have joy." 2 Nephi 2:25

Here I am having a hard time seeing my baby girl go through surgery after surgery. These are serious surgeries that have to do with her spine and her brain! And yet here is Mia, smiling away after waking up from sedation and eating, with brand new stitches on her head and her belly.

I now see that the wording on that scripture is might have instead of will feel. To have something means we can "posses, own, or hold". Might is a possibility. In other words, we have the possibility to posses joy! Which leads me to this scripture:

"For it is expedient that an atonement should be made; for according to the great plan of the Eternal God there must be an atonement made, or else all mankind must unavoidably perish; yea, all are hardened; yea, all are fallen and are lost, and must perish except it be through the atonement which it is expedient should be made." Alma 34:9

Sometimes life can be really tough! We may feel like we can't do it anymore, or like it's unfair. All of these things can make our hearts harden a little at a time. Without the atonement, trials and unfairness in this world would make our hearts hard as rocks! Making us angry, sad, hopeless and all those negative feelings. Always! That's why the atonement is SO important or as the scripture says, expedient!
God made it possible for us to overcome our sorrows and the unfairness of this life. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ we can have the possibility of feeling joy! That doesn't mean we will be happy go lucky all the time. But it does mean that there's hope. Because even during the most trying times, we can feel happy and experience joy in this life.

Mia is a great example to me of being happy amidst hard times. Her and Bret bring me so much joy!

So yes, after everything, life IS good.

Happy 3 months baby girl. You are our little fighter and we love you dearly.


ESPAÑOL

Ella ha pasado por mucho este mes. Primero con un viaje a la E.R debido a una hinchazón detrás de la oreja y el cuello, donde la derivación atraviesa. Después de una revisión por parte del cirujano, dijo que necesitaba cirugía. Llego el dia y estábamos todos listos para la cirugía. El neurocirujano entró y decidió darle otra semana para ver si la inflamación se reduciría por sí sola. Puede que si o puede que no estaba un poco molesta con él. Yo sabía que había algo malo, pero él quería que Mia mostrara los síntomas más graves de un problema de la derivación para llevar a cabo la cirugía. Estos síntomas incluyen, vómitos, dormir mucho, una fontanela abultada (parte blanda), tal vez una fiebre o convulsiones. Las únicas cosas que noté eran diferentes con Mia fue que ella estaba durmiendo más de lo normal. Además, su fontanela no estaba abultada, pero no era suave tampoco. Estaba dura.Volvimos una semana más tarde y la hinchazón no había bajado. Por lo tanto, era el momento de la cirugía!

Mia es una experta en cirugias! Resulta que SI había algo mal; la derivación estaba tapada. Así que lo reemplazaron por completo y ahora tiene una nueva derivación. ¡Yey!

Esta semana he estado pensando mucho acerca de una escritura,

"... existen los hombres para que tengan gozo." 2 Nefi 2:25

Aquí estoy yo teniendo un tiempo difícil al ver a mi niña pasar por la cirugía tras cirugía. Estas son cirugías intensas que tienen que ver con su columna vertebral y el cerebro! Y sin embargo, aquí esta Mia, sonriendo después de despertar de la sedación y ser alimentada, con nuevos puntos de sutura en la cabeza y el vientre.

Ahora veo que la fraseología en que la escritura es poder TENER gozo en lugar de SENTIR gozo. Tener algo significa "poseer". En otras palabras, tenemos la posibilidad de poseer gozo! Lo que me lleva a esta escritura:

"Porque es necesario que se realice una expiación; pues según el gran plan del Dios Eterno, debe efectuarse una expiación, o de lo contrario, todo el género humano inevitablemente debe perecer; sí, todos se han endurecido; sí, todos han caído y están perdidos, y, de no ser por la expiación que es necesario que se haga, deben perecer.". Alma 34: 9

A veces la vida puede ser muy dura! Podemos sentir que ya no podemos hacerlo más, o que la vida es super injusta. Todas estas cosas pueden hacer que nuestros corazones se endurezcan un poco a la vez. Sin la expiación, los desafios y la injusticia en este mundo harían nuestros corazones duros como piedras! Haciéndonos sentir enojados, tristes, sin esperanza y todos esos sentimientos negativos. ¡Siempre! Es por eso que la expiación es TAN importante o como dice la escritura, necesaria!

Dios hizo posible que superemos nuestros desafios y la injusticia de esta vida. A través de la expiación de Jesucristo podemos tener la posibilidad de sentir la alegría y tener gozo! Eso no significa que estaremos super felices todo el tiempo. Pero sí significa que podemos tener la esperanza de que aun en los tiempos dificiles podemos sentirnos feliz y tener gozo.

Mia es un gran ejemplo para mí de ser feliz aun durante los tiempos difíciles. Ella y Bret me traen gozo.

Y sí, después de todo, la vida es buena.
Feliz 3 meses mi nena hermosa. Eres nuestra pequeña guerrera y te queremos mucho.

JUST. KEEP. SWIMMING

*The alarm goes off

It's 5:00 am on a weekday. I don't want to get up. I don't want to leave the comfort of my warm bed. 

I'm 15 years old and my ride is here. Groggily I put on my pants over my swimsuit, a coat, and I head out the door to meet my friends out in the car. 

Less than five minutes later we get to the pool. 

It's 5:15 am and it's time for practice. Gotta take off the towel and stretch. The coach is talking now telling us what our warm up is going to be. 

Okay. I have to jump in now. But I don't want to. I know the water will be cold. I'm still sleepy, I'm still warm. I don't want to jump in and be cold! 

I close my eyes. *SPLASH*

Eeek! It's cold! "It's okay", I tell myself "just keep swimming". The more I swim, the better I feel. I do a flip turn. One more lap and I can feel it's getting easier. Easier to breathe, easier to stretch my body, easier to move faster. Suddenly, I loose myself in the water. I feel like I'm gliding and honestly being woken up at 5 in the morning is not so bad now. 
My body tells me, "this is good for me! Keep going!" 

It's the end of the work out. My body worked hard. I'm wide awake now and I love how my body feels as I cool down. I feel stronger. 
I feel ready to conquer the day. 

----

It's 1:00 am now on a rainy Monday. More than 10 years have passed since my swim team days. My motherly worries now keep me awake.
I see my baby girl snuggled warm in her pack and play. I know that in about 30 hours, she must go in for surgery.

But she's only a baby! Babies shouldn't have to get surgeries. Surgeries are for when you're older and you've used your body more. Not for when your body is brand new!

As the clock keeps ticking, I can feel it approaching.

-I don't want to jump in! I don't want to be cold!-

I look at her peaceful frame asleep in her bed and can feel her say, "It's okay mom. We can do this! We have done it twice before, we can do it again!" 

"This is good for my body."

I tell myself to keep going. Eventually, it will get easier to breathe. As time goes by my brain will stretch with knowledge and understanding. My heart, though it aches at times, will continue to grow with love and patience. I will be able to learn faster and loose myself in the care of my daughter so she can have THE BEST chance at a good quality of life. Then, spina bifida won't feel so bad anymore.
Just. Keep. Swimming.


---
In my head it's post-op and my baby is in her hospital crib. I know she's sedated and still asleep. In an attempt to comfort her as she starts to wake up, I put my finger in her little hand. She moves a little and gives me a sleepy smile,

"See mom? It all worked out. I feel stronger now. I am now ready to conquer life"

*Sigh*

I love my baby girl. We can do this! We WILL kick spina bifida's butt!