Mia's 1st month

My baby girl is 1 month today! I can't believe how fast  time has gone by. It seems like it was just yesterday that I found out she had spina bifida. I was 20 weeks pregnant. At 22 weeks we went to the specialist and he did an ultrasound. Mia has shown us since then how much of a fighter she is. There she was kicking and moving around like crazy. I told the doctor, "she'll walk right?". He said, " we're optimistic but we won't know for sure until after her surgery when we close the spine". He then have us different options, we could have the spinal closure surgery while she was still in the womb but there were too many risks involved with her and with me. He then said that we could also terminate the pregnancy. I couldn't even believe he gave us that as an option. I know he was just doing his job as a doctor but it hurt so bad. I felt so much guilt from her diagnosis and that just made it worse. Also the thought that somebody might not want a baby like mine made me so sad. The following weeks were full of worry, uncertainty, miracles, and eventually peace.
Mia was born in the University of Utah hospital, conveniently next door to primary children's, where she could receive all the care she needed. She almost came early at 32 weeks but we were able to keep her in until week 37 when she made a speedy entrance into the world. We hadn't been in the hospital 30 minutes and she was already born! I didn't even have time to have an epidural and when she came out I felt like she was so close I could touch her. I remember I noticed right away she had curly hair. She was beautiful. They quickly took her away and I saw the lesion on her back. It was bigger than I thought it'd be. The guilt I felt at my 22 week appointment came back and I started to cry. They wheeled me out and I couldn't hold her close and welcome her into the world how I wanted to.

Mia's type of Spina Bifida- Myelomeningocele

  At 7lbs 3oz and 19 inches long, her lungs were strong enough for surgery. She went through surgery the next day and was such a trooper. Amidst the worry, there were so many people praying for her and our family, I could feel so much peace and that she was going to be okay. Bret kept us sane during her time at the NICU. He would smile at us and give us hugs. I'm so glad he's Mia's older brother and my baby boy. When the doctors came to assess her after her surgery they said the words I've been wanting to hear for 20+weeks, "She'll walk. Her ankles are a bit weak and she might need braces, but she'll walk". I was so happy. I could tell another miracle had been granted. Mia continued to show her strength as she would almost crawl out of her crib with those strong legs due to the prolonged time on her belly. She endured another surgery for the hydrocephalus that developed and is now home with us.

She got a shunt put in for the hydrocephalus. She has two incisions in her head and one on her belly.

She has gone through so much in this month and I am so glad she is here with us. I can't imagine having it another way. She has other nerve damage in her organs and we'll have to keep a close eye on her, but I could have never given that up. We only have to straight catheter her twice a day! She is beautiful, strong, smart, and oh so brave.
Right now Mia loves to hear mommy's voice and daddy's voice! (I think she loves how deep it is). She loves it when Bret's around ( and let's face it, who doesn't). She loves, " be still my soul " and Adele and Katy Perry (but only at 2am). She's a great eater. She drinks 4oz every feeding. She'll be able to turn on her back sometime next month. So far she's doing a great job at healing from her back. She finally got all her stitches out last week!
So here's to Mia Grace's first month of life. Her name is still a great reminder to me that the Lord's grace is sufficient. I'm so grateful for all the people that pray for her and our family. Most of all I am grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ who conquered death. I am grateful for his atonement and the healing it brings into my life. During a weak moment of mine, I questioned why Mia hadn't been healed. Heath and I prayed for it, other prayed that she would be completely healed before being born. I asked Heath one day  if maybe I hadn't had enough faith and that's why she wasn't healed. He thought about this for the rest of the day and then he said, "Lizzie, I think it takes as much faith to be healed as it does to not be healed". I have thought about those words since then and I know it's true. Sometimes the Lord knows why He gives us the trials He gives us and I know He doesn't leave us alone while we're going through them. I know that my redeemer lives. And it is truly comforting.
Happy Easter everyone.

We had Mia's blessing today. I'm so grateful for our families.

I'm glad my sister was able to be here for the blessing and that my dad, baby sister and brother-in-law joined through Skype.

Bret had fun at his great-grandma's house Easter egg hunt.

I love my sweet, curious, happy baby boy.