Mia is 2 months!

My sweet Mia is 2 months old today! I can't believe how fast time has flown by. First, let's talk about how well her back has healed! You can't even really tell that the scar goes up to almost the middle of her back. The body is amazing isn't it? The way it repairs itself is quite a miracle.

Snuggles with daddy are the best

This month has been tough for Mia in a different way. She got sick with the cold. Let me tell you, having a baby this young get sick with the cold is NO JOKE. We have been either in the doctor's office, the E.R or the Respiratory Clinic, almost every day for the past week.

On Sunday (our actual anniversary date), I stayed home with Mia while Heath and Bret went to church. Well, Mia kept coughing and coughing and it was hard for her to breathe. Then she started foaming at the mouth. My initial thought was that it was just phlegm, but I got on the internet and it scared me. So, I called the physician on call and he told me to go to Instacare, but it was closed, so I ended up going to Urgent Care in Centerville. They checked us in, asked me what was going on and then had me wait for the physician just for her to look at this picture, and tell me that they didn't deal with babies, "especially babies with a cold that have Spina Bifida".

Let me go off on a rant here for a second...
This is not the first time we've been sent to Primary Children's E.R because Mia has Spina Bifida and the doctors don't know what to do with her, despite the fact that what she has doesn't have anything to do with Spina Bifida. IT'S A COLD PEOPLE! Just suck out her boogers and stop wasting our time! How do they not have the equipment to care for babies? Why do they always use her Spina Bifida as an excuse?
Did you know I went to 3 different pediatricians when she came out of the NICU and called 3 other ones before I found one that was "comfortable" caring for Mia?! She's a BABY!! 
I realize that her Spina Bifida does make her a bit different because she has more "needs", but honestly, sometimes it makes me think that the doctors out there don't know what they're talking about. What did they do at Med school?!
Some of my annoyance towards all these doctors that have turned us away because Mia has SB has almost disappeared after talking to a resident during Mia's clinic last month, he said that maybe the reason why they are that way is that they don't get a lot of babies like mine and so they aren't as comfortable with that because they haven't had practice treating them. Well, that kind of made me feel better...But this urgent care visit made me feel annoyed again.
Ok. Rant over.

So, I go get Heath, and Bret's grandpa comes over to pick Bret up, and Heath, Mia and I head over to Primary Children's E.R.
On our way there Heath said, "You know, if we have to come here any more times, we're going to start making friends there."

and guess what?!

WE DID!!!

As we were checking Mia in, I saw another couple that had a car-bed just like the one Mia went home with. I though, I bet their baby has Spina Bifida. When the nurse asked me if Mia had Spina Bifida I said, yes and the couple overheard and they turned and looked at me. I KNEW IT! Heath took over talking to the check-in nurse and I headed over to talk to that couple.

Me: Does your baby have Spina Bifida?!
Them: YES! Yours does too right?!
Me: YEAH!! Oh my gosh! Can I give you a hug?!*

*I know that's weird, but it just felt so good to see another couple with a baby like ours. I felt like we were kindred spirits. We understood one another and I understood the worries they were going through. It just feels good to know --in the flesh-- that there are more of us out there.

Their daughter has a lesion similar to Mia's and they had just gone home. Their daughter was 10 days old and she started leaking spinal fluid from her back. That's why they were back. I felt for them. Honestly, the healing process is really stressful. We exchanged phone numbers and I gave them the links to the facebook support groups (because you really do need support in times like these) and we parted ways. It was really nice to meet them. Oh and she did let me give her a hug :)

The rest of the E.R visit went like this,
-Nurse comes in, takes vitals and asks us what's going on (10 min)
-Wait (30 minutes)
-Repeat the same information to 10 different people (1+ hours)
- I was right, the foam was just phlegm. So, they suction her out (less than 5 minutes)
-Getting discharged (30 minutes)

RIDICOULOUS! Right?! 

I want one of those suction machines at home so I can just do it and we don't have to waste time driving, or at the doctor's for her to be able to breathe properly.

We got a prescription to the respiratory clinic. On Monday we went to her pediatrician to be suctioned and then at 2 in the morning, she couldn't breathe super well so I went to the Primary Children's respiratory clinic for her to be suctioned. She's doing a TON better! She can actually cough without throwing up, or turning super purple. YAY!

Okay, now here's what you've been waiting for, pictures of my baby girl!

Right here she's resting, but she lifts her head and looks around. She's so strong!

Also, did I mention my mom left? We love and miss her! She's so pretty and she looks great with her grand kids. 

See how cute she is?!! Nothing scary about her. I love my baby girl.

Bret is 14 months!

Bret is 14 months as of yesterday. He got sick last week with the cold. This is THE FIRST TIME he's gotten sick. So, it hit him pretty bad. My already skinny baby is now really skinny and he looks like he's 3 years old instead of 1. In an attempt to help his sister one day when she was crying, he coughed on her and now she's sick as well. 

Heath teaching Bret how to putt (L)

It's been difficult but kind of nice because he wants to be cuddled and I've missed cuddling him. 

Heath got a new mower for his business. Obviously, he had to take Bret out for a ride. Look at Bret's long legs!

Things I want to remember:

Bret now only says ONE word and he uses it for EVERYTHING! That word is, "agua". He wants the laptop, " agua". He wants some food, "agua". He wants a toy, " agua". He wants some water, "agua"(Well, at least that one is right). So, when he says " agua" we have to play a guessing game and see which "agua" he's referring to. He helps out though by pointing, pushing away, or throwing the unwanted item aside.

What my living room has looked like for the past week. Sick babies on the couch watching movies and snuggling...aaaand crying and coughing and sniffling and crying, did I mention crying? ALL. DAY. LONG. But the snuggling makes it all better. 

He has also started crying/screaming A LOT. Maybe it's because he's been sick or because the "terrible two's" are approaching, but I like to call him my "shrieking eel" inside my head.

He is also really helpful. Now that he walks, he likes to help me sweep and mop. He likes to help me wipe his table and the floor. He also helped me out when I was organizing his room.

All in all he's super sweet and fun! I LOVE this age! He blows kisses, gives me smacking kisses on the cheek. He is curious about everything and he is starting to make animal sounds.  

I LOVE my baby boy! 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Aww look at us being cute! I can't believe it's been 2 years!

Two years doesn't sound like much. It's what, 24 months? When you put it that way it doesn't sound long AT ALL. But, if you compare it to an LDS mission for a  young man, or an associates degree, then it's life changing. And boy has it been life changing. 

Here's a summary of the past two years:

-We both went to BYU

- I graduated with my bachelor's 

-We had Bret

-We moved from Provo to Bountiful

- Heath started going to The U

- We had Mia 

-Heath started his own business

See?! LIFE CHANGING!

We are NOT the same two people in that picture you see above. No. We are now a more polished, chubbier (at least I am, but calm down guys, it was for a good cause) experienced version of ourselves! And we still have work to do! Lots of work. 

It. Has. Been. HARD! We have been thrown some curveballs that we have had to overcome individually and as a couple. And that's my favorite part, though it's been hard, each trial has brought us closer together. So, has it been rewarding? YES! has it been fun? YES! has it been a learning experiences? HECK YES! 

Last year I graduated on our anniversary. This year, Heath took me to a fancy-shmancy Mexican restaurant the day before our anniversary. I had NEVER been to a restaurant where they decorate the food and give you foods in correct proportions. I had only seen it on the Food Network and well, I was having the time of my life! 

We critiqued every dish using culinary lexicon that we have learned watching shows like, Top Chef, Chopped, Master Chef...and others (honestly, I think I've seen them all). Then, sitting next to us were two critics! They were writing down and recording their thoughts about the food they had eaten. And of course, like the culinary critics that they are, they didn't finish their food. Not even their dessert! They each had a spoonful, jotted down their findings, discussed them, and moved on the next dish. 

So, here is our experience at Frida's Bistro in Salt Lake:

The handmade purple corn tortilla was perfectly made and stuffed with Chihuahua cheese and Mexican zucchini. The balance of savory and sweet made this dish our top favorite. In other words, this was freakin' delicious people! And you should all try it!

 Check out that fancy folded napkin. And YES I did eat my quesadilla with a knife and fork. Heath made fun of me, but whatever! I was imagining I was Giada de Laurentis and I know if she was judging this quesadilla, she would have eaten it with a fork and a knife. And even if she didn't, I know I would have eaten it with a knife and fork if I was judging a cook on the Food Network. (Also, now that I look at this picture, -- maybe I'm just sleep deprived--  but the quesadilla kind of looks like the California bear on the flag, don't you think?

 This is Chile en Nogada. When I saw this, I knew I had heard of it before, so I googled it to know for sure what it was. Well, it looked delicious, and I love pomegranate, so I ordered it. It was disappointing, really. I mean, the rice was crispy, CRISPY! Did the cooks never take Rice 101?! Well, it's NOT meant to be crispy, EVER! I almost, asked them to hire me so that I could make their rice for them, but I have two kids that need me, so I didn't. It ruined the dish for me. But it looked GORGEOUS! I just couldn't get over the rice. I still can't. 

Here's my handsome sleep-deprived husband! He had the Salmon ceviche. This is his critique, "It was full of flavor, but I've had better. The pieces of Salmon were too big and there wasn't enough tomato, onion and cilantro in it." I honestly can't conceive the thought of eating raw meat, let alone big chunks of it. It looked great though.  

Dessert: Chocolate mole [MULL-EH] cake with chocolate ganache, black-pepper ice cream and pickled cherries. 

Again I was overcome with my Food Network fandom that we just had to order it because it said "ganache" and "black pepper ice cream" which are only things that are made on those shows of course. I don't know what I was expecting really. Maybe a delicious flavor combination that sparked an epiphany and a choir of angels singing hallelujah! But this is how it went down,

Heath takes the first bite of the black pepper ice cream. His face looks excited, hopeful almost --after a main course let down--. Then, his face quickly turns from that to confusion, query, and then... plain disgust. 

I was laughing at this point.

Me: What's wrong? What's the matter? What does it taste like?

Heath: Like, BLACK PEPPER! Who DOES that?! WHO MAKES BLACK PEPPER ICE CREAM?!

ROTFLOL guys, like seriously. We are a bunch of non culinary connoisseurs. 

Heath's description of the chocolate cake: 

"It's two ding-dongs stuffed with chocolate moose. Like, who are they kidding?"

We ate it though, and laughed at ourselves and had a great time. It cost us an arm and a leg but you only have an anniversary once a year. We later found out the cherries had been pickled in Tequila. But the alcohol dies right? Once it's canned? 

Oh well, we drove home safely haha and let me tell you, the combination of the cherries and the ice cream made the not-so-normal ice cream be delicious. 

I learned one thing: The BEST Mexican food I've EVER had is in Mexico. They make all this fancy food, better-tasting, and much cheaper. It was a great experience though and I think we would go again just to experience other dishes. 

We didn't get a picture of the both of us because it was raining and we had to go home and cath Mia. I'm so happy to be married. I'm happy to be married to Heath Forbush. He makes life so enjoyable. =)

Today is our actual anniversary. We spent it at home, the urgent care and then the E.R at Primary Children's. More on that later. 

A big thank you to Heath's parents that made all of this possible by taking care of our two babies! Love you guys! 

I love our forever family. Here's to many more years!

Getting to know them: Mia Grace

"...and my grace is sufficient for all men; ...for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27

Getting to know Mia Grace at this point is more about her needs as a baby and what I can do to meet those needs.

When I found out she had Spina Bifida, I thought she was at a disadvantage. I thought, why would God give her this?! Life is already hard as it is! Mia Grace is a great reminder to me of the promises given in the scripture mentioned above. She is such a strong little person. Spina Bifida isn't a disadvantage and it doesn't define her. When she was born, I realized that she was born to conquer. She has been so strong and resilient. There is nothing she can't do. 

I realized then that this scripture is more for me than for her. It was me who was weak. In other words, I was scared. I knew nothing of the medical world. The things I did know about her diagnosis and the care and warning signs we had to look for where too scary for me to think about. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to do any of those things.

Now that she’s been home for over a month, I feel like I’m getting to know her better as well as how Spina Bifida affects her. For example, Mia has hydrocephalus and had to get a shunt put in. The shunt helps all the extra liquid in her brain drain properly and it helps her so that she doesn't get symptoms from the Chirari II Malformation she has as well. So, if Mia throws up, I now think okay, is it her shunt? (I then touch her soft spot to make sure it's still soft). Then I think, she also has nerve damage somewhere in between her stomach and rectum...was she not able to digest the food correctly because she hasn't been able to poop? or is it the Chiari II making it hard for her to swallow? 
There's also the straight catheterization twice a day due to some nerve damage in her bladder. I remember I was really scared to do this one at first, but then when it came time to do it, I know God gave me the strength to be able to do it. 

Check out those curls!!!!

We have been able to go to what’s called, Spina Bifida Clinic. This is where all of the specialists come and see Mia. It usually takes half a day. I never thought I would love it so much. They answer all of my questions and I learn a lot! They calm my worries and help me help Mia. At the clinic we see the neurologist, neurosurgery, plastic surgery, urology, occupational therapy, physical therapy, her nurse, and nutrition. My favorite specialist out of all of them (and the most relevant at this point) is neurology. That doctor is so good at teaching us about Mia’s brain. Learning more about how her brain works and how hydrocephalus affects it and how the shunt helps it, allows me to prepare and understand when things don’t work correctly, or why they do work!

This doesn't mean I'm never afraid. HA! If I think about it too much or start thinking about what could go wrong and the unknown, I freak myself out and I just want to put both of my kids in a bubble where I can keep them safe and sound. But alas, that cannot be... That's when I have to stop myself and enjoy my baby NOW and the accomplishments of every day, as minuscule as they may seem. Like, all of her wet diapers make me go into my happy dance! It helps me know that her bladder is emptying and she'll be less likely to have kidney damage. She also hasn't had a UTI which is awwwwsome!! So far, we haven’t had the need to go to the E.R for a shunt malfunction or infection and I hope it stays that way. Her back is finally healing up nicely and she can lay on it. There's a lot of things to be thankful for and a lot of things to be happy about.

Mia has shown me strength, patience, and faith. I know God sent her to me so that I could work on trusting Him a little more. 

These two are magnificent!!  

Getting to Know Them: Bret

Picture by Kailee Brown

"On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, 'Life will never be the same' " -Nancy Tillman

That's a line from one of Bret's favorite books. I read it to him probably 10 times a day. Life indeed has never been the same since my baby boy was born. He has brought so much joy into my life. Now at 13 months old I feel like I'm just getting to know him! He is such a character.
He started walking the day before he turned 13 months and he hardly crawls since then. He is however, attempting to run. I knew he was holding out on me because his main goal was indeed, to run.


Anyway, everyday he greets me with delight in his own language. He comes into my room babbling about some great dream he had, or the amazing breakfast my mom made him or perhaps he's just coming in wondering why I wasn't there for breakfast. I don't know, but he just comes in talking like I can actually understand him. The other day, during lunch my mom and I were having a conversation and he joined in. What's funny about the conversations Bret has is that at the end of his long-winded tale, he turns to you puts his hand over his open mouth and gives you the funniest, can-you-believe-that? kind of laugh ever! He also uses this laugh when he talks to Mr. Invisible over the phone. When I see him do this I think to myself, DUDE! Where have you been all my life?!! You are HILARIOUS! 

With abuelita on our Sunday walk

Bret also really likes being outside. Most of all, he likes to ride in the wagon of the John Deere tricycle his grandparents gave him for his birthday. We take several laps in our apartment complex and he just loves it. He doesn't shriek in delight or anything but he just sits there calmly and once the ride is over he gets really upset. Yesterday we walked to the park and while in the park we met some new friends. He was mesmerized by the children as they swung on the swings, climbed up the ladder to the slide or ran around playing tag. He was taking it all in. He then decided he wanted to do his own thing and climb up and down the side side steps of the playground. He held my hand the entire time. I loved every second of it. I realized, while watching those children, that he won't always want me to hold his hand. That he won't always want me to pull him around the complex in his wagon. I realized, he won't always want me around. So I cherished every moment of him holding my hand and signaling for me to pull him up because he was ready to go home.

See how he doesn't look excited?
 He's actually having the time of his life.

He has recently started praying with us during all the different meals. Every time we serve the food, he folds his arms and says "aaaaMA" which means, "Amen". Before, we used to occasionally forget to pray because we were in a hurry, too hungry or distracted. His cute reverence and patience, even when he's really hungry, is a great reminder to me of what is really important. Now we say it every time and I always look forward to him yelling, "aaaaAAMA!" at the end and then going "HMMMM!" because he is ready to eat. I think it's time to include Bret in our family prayers before bedtime.

Bret learning how to be soft with Mia.
See my mom's hand holding his?

I love my baby boy. I love how observant he is. With all the teeth he has now (almost 8 to be exact), we have been incorporating "the brushing of teeth" to his routine. He loves to brush his teeth and he particularly enjoys it when me and/or Heath brush our teeth with him. Every time we rinse he bursts out laughing! He thinks it's hilarious how we spit into the sink. He tries to do it himself but ends up cracking up and being too weak from laughter to actually spit into the sink, so he ends up drooling into the sink. How fun is HE?!!

I love that he's a really good big brother. When his baby sister cries, he quickly goes and tries to help her. He's still learning about being soft and sometimes in his attempt to soothe his baby sister, he ends up making her cry more (sigh). He sometimes takes his favorite books over to her and starts "reading" to her (my heart melts). Or sometimes he throws his brown bear at her because he thinks that it will make her feel better...except, it doesn't... (sigh again). He tries though.

I love that God gave Bret to me to watch, take care of, teach, and learn from on this earth. This year has been an amazing adventure so far. My life wouldn't be the same without him.

 "For the world had never know a you my friend, and it never will not ever again."

On the Night You Were Born- Nancy Tillman